Changes

Part of this has to do with being inspired by some of the great people I have met during this internship, part of this was decided during the very interesting conversations I've had with some of these people, and part of it has to do with all the free time I've had to think by myself. Maybe the greatest part comes in that I set the expectation for myself before coming here that I had things in my life I needed to figure out and that I wanted to use this trip as a way of figuring it all out.

Regardless, it has become clear to me that my life needs to change. It's not about changing my current mindset, it's about changing my actions so that I can live according to my views instead of as the person other people want me to be, the person they think that I am.

Yesterday in the camp here I was teaching quotes to the children, and we accidentally had a theme that related to taking control of life, which first meant discovering who you were as an individual and then living as that person. I'd feel like a hell of a hypocrite if I didn't do exactly. It's always something I have placed in high importance but I don't think I've ever achieved,

I dont know exactly how to do this yet, but one step to me is clear....and that is my health. I've been eating fairly healthy here (except for all the chocolate and vodka) and this is something I need to make part of my life when I get back,

So, no fast food, no chocolates or sweets, no coke, no eating late unnecessarily, small portions of food, and the two biggest ones: no alcohol and no meat.

Me and alcohol have had a lot of great times together, but its time for me to put that one on the shelf. I think this will be very tough, especially trying to hang out with friends who are drinking...but the person I am when I drink is the not the person I want to be. Alcohol is unhealthy, and it's an excuse...an excuse to live to an ideal of being out of control. I want parts of my life to be out of control, I find the idea quite Romantic, but while everything is spinning out of control I want myself to be 100% in control....and so, no alcohol. I am also hoping this will force further changes from me.

As for no meat, it's something I've wanted to try for a while. I'm not committed to sticking to this in the long run, but I will give my best shot and see how it goes.

I hate overconsumption and consumerism. I hate the waste of our society, and its time to align my actions to those beliefs. No more food than is necessary, and no more shopping for things I don't need. Question every purchase, only take what I need....live minimal.

This all comes into effect the second I step off the plane in Saskatoon. I'm posting here to keep myself accountable. Really, I should start right now...but I have 4 days in Odessa with good friends and 2 more days in Kyiv. My hope is that those days will act as a goodbye tour was the Carson that was, and a welcoming for the Carson that will be.

It would be oh-so-easy for me to delete this post and change my mind....but in my first blog entry I put a quote from Banksy saying that we should we should get out of the house before we find something worth staying in for. It's easy to stay in the house, and it's easy to go with a flow....it's more difficult to get out there and be who you want to be, but I believe that I will be free because of it.

This is step one....step two is decided but I shall not share. More changes to come later...